Overloaded Pancakes

Ingredients (using “guy vocabulary):

• Some Krusteaz pancake mix.
• Some water.

Mix up the pancake mix – as much as you’d usually use – until it’s slightly runnier than usual.

• Some deli ham, thinly sliced and chopped pretty small. I like to use quite a bit. If I use the pre-packaged “thin sliced meat” then I use four or five slices per 5” pancake.
• Some cheese, either shredded or chopped small. I use a couple of ounces per pancake. And this is one place I really like the basic bargain-bin cheddar cheese.

Of course, you’re probably making several pancakes, so use a lot of meat and a lot of cheese. Yeah, I know that’s a lot of content, but trust me, it’s better that way.

• Butter to fry it in.
• Peanut butter (Come on! You don’t eat pancakes without peanut butter, do you?)
• Honey, heated until it’s runny. (Microwave it for a bit; don’t let it boil.) This is better than maple syrup, which is pretty much only flavored sugar water anyway. Unless you have the real thing!

Pre-heat a good ol' cast iron frypan. (Lesser frypans are acceptable if you don't have a well-seasoned black iron pan. Save up your nickels and get one at Goodwill for two bucks.) Put the butter in: when the butter sizzles, the pan’s hot enough.

While it’s heating, stir the meat and the cheese into the pancake with a big spoon. You can add more adulterations if you like.

You can go sweet:

• Some cinnamon and sugar.
• Or brown sugar.
• Or maybe some honey.
• A little nutmeg would add some “pop” to it.
• Maybe some pineapple, cut into small chunks. Don’t get carried away with this one; it’ll mess up the pancake.

Or you can go savory. If you’re going this route, it may pay off to fry the ham slices before adding them to the batter. These don’t do so well with the peanut butter, but I still like it with the honey.

• Some green onions.
• Some roasted garlic (this is one place where the roasting pays off big)
• Some dark chili powder.
  
• Crunchy bacon, fried & chopped
• Maybe some fresh thyme, chopped coarsely.
  

Pour the appropriate amount into the hot frypan or griddle. Let it cook like a more normal pancake without fiddling with it until it starts to smell done; you can’t count on the usual bubbles on the top with this. Flip it over, press it flat with the spatula, and let it cook until that side is done.

I like to sprinkle some of the “additional adulterations” on it right after I’ve flipped it: whatever else I’ve added, I put a little of that on top. I also love a fried egg on top, even with the honey. Serve it as your conscience lets you.

Works well with juice or even better with hot coffee.

Old Roastsputin

Ingredients:

• A big hunk of meat. I guess that it would translate to a four-pound chuck roast.
• 2 bottles Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout.
• Salt & pepper to taste.
  

Preparation:

Trim off the fat, all the fat.

Heat up your faithful cast iron frying pan on medium to medium-high heat. Sear both sides well.

Cooking, Plan A, slow cooker:

Pour one and a half bottles of Old Rasputin into a slow cooker that’s large enough for the roast to lay flat in. Let the brew heat up (set the slow cooker to “high”) while you’re searing the roast. Drink the half bottle that remains while working on it. Once the pot is hot, turn it to “low.”

Cook for a couple of hours on one side. Turn it over. Add veggies. Cook for two or three more hours. Pour out the brew it cooked in, and grieve its passing.

Cooking, Plan B, Dutch oven:

I use a cast iron Dutch oven, which means that I can heat it up on the stove top. As it begins to heat, pour one and a half bottles of Old Rasputin in. Let the brew heat up (set the slow cooker to “high”) while you’re searing the roast. Drink the half bottle that remains while working on it. Once the pot is hot, turn it to “low.”

Cook for a an hour at 325 degrees on one side. Baste every so often. Turn it over. Cook for another hour or two. Add veggies an hour before you’re done.

This deserves to be cooked until pretty well done. It should almost fall apart under your fork.

Pour out the brew it cooked in, and grieve its passing. What a sad thing to have to lose the Imperial Stout.

This makes a roast that has a remarkably complex flavor. My friend Alan makes this best, but this version is pretty darned good.

Strange Eggs in a Frame

Serves Two hungry guys, or four gentle ladies.

Ingredients:

• 2 slices bread. Homemade is best, of course.
  
• 1 or 2 cloves garlic, smashed and chopped
• Some onion, diced.
• A slice or two of bacon, fried and chopped into 3/8” chunks
• Save some bacon grease for frying garlic & onions
• 3 large eggs or four small ones.
• 1 TBSP Cajun spices (I like this one)
  
• 4 oz cheddar cheese (sharp is best), cubed and/or:
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Maybe some salsa to go on top.
  

Directions:

Fry up the garlic and onions on medium heat. Get out a mixing bowl and crack the eggs in it. Add the cooked, diced bacon. Add the spices and cheddar cheese. Stir it up some.

Pre-heat a good ol' cast iron frypan. (Lesser frypans are acceptable if you don't have a well-seasoned black iron pan. Save up your nickels and get one at Goodwill for two bucks.)

Set each piece of bread on a cutting board and cut the middle out with a large glass. Make a good sized hole. (I like to toast the round cutout, and eat it with PBJ while I'm cooking the rest.)

Grease the frypan with butter or bacon grease, put in the bread, and pour in half of the egg mixture into each open piece of bread. It should be more than enough to fill the hole; it'll probably overflow somewhat. This is a good thing.

Cover and let it cook like a pancake without fiddling with it until it starts to smell done. Flip it over, press it flat with the spatula (it may ooze the uncooked innards: this is a fine thing: if it gets out, it gets cooked), cover it again, and let it cook until that side is done. I like to sprinkle Parmesian cheese on it before I cover it on this side.

Serve with more Parmesan sprinkled on top, and maybe some salsa. Works well with juice or even better with hot coffee.